The arrival of a new baby into your life is a wonderful moment, but for many Filipina mothers, it can also bring a wave of unwelcome attention to postpartum weight increase. When family members, especially mothers-in-law and older women, talk about the changes in your body, it can hit you right where you're most vulnerable. If you've felt left out or embarrassed, or got annoyed by the comments about your weight gain after having a baby, this post is just for you. Let’s find out how you can regain your confidence and handle these family situations with a heartfelt but practical approach that every Pinay nanay will appreciate.
Understanding Postpartum Weight Gain—It's Normal!
After giving birth, it’s normal for women to keep some extra weight. In fact, experts say the average woman keeps around 2–5 pounds of baby weight for months, or sometimes even longer than a year. Your body just accomplished the amazing task of growing and delivering a child! This period of healing and adjustment is unique for each person, especially when you’re trying to manage sleepless nights and adjusting to the needs of your baby.
Why Do Family Members Judge Postpartum Bodies?
In Filipino family culture, close-knit families are common—along with unwanted comments about appearance. Sometimes, in-laws or other relatives act out of habit and not because they want to hurt you. Imagine the tita at a family gathering who pinches your cheek and says, “Uy, tumaba ka!” But the repeated comments from your mother-in-law or other relatives can feel like body shaming, especially after giving birth and while your self-esteem is already shaken. They may not realize how much their words can affect your healing process.
When Jokes Hurt: Emotional Impact on New Moms
Making jokes or snide remarks about your bigger jeans or rounder cheeks can trigger so much negative self-talk. Studies show that body shaming is a big factor in mental health, leading to higher risks of depression and anxiety among new mothers. If the person making these remarks is someone you see every day, like your mother-in-law, the stress is even doubled.
The postpartum body of women is a testimony to strength and not a target for jokes. Choose comments that encourage and not degrade.
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Recommended For YouSetting Boundaries with Family — Filipino Style
If your mother-in-law or other family members just won’t stop, it’s time to set clear but respectful boundaries. Here’s how you can do this while showing respect for your family's values:
- Make a firm yet gentle statement, like "Nagpapagaling po ako, salamat po sa concern."
- Ask your partner or husband to help out when needed.
- Redirect conversations to positive topics, like sharing your baby’s new milestones or talking about family news.
- Limit your time with people who make you uncomfortable and spend more time with supportive friends or relatives.
Rebuilding Self-Esteem and Body Confidence
Your body after giving birth deserves love and appreciation—especially from yourself. Focus on self-care routines that nourish your mind and body, like short walks, breathing exercises, or just taking a relaxing shower when you can. Listen to stories from fellow Filipina mothers who are also on the same journey and remind yourself that everyone’s timeline is different. Always remember you are not just a number on the scale.
Healthy Tips for Adjusting to Your New Body
Here are a few practical tips to help you maintain good weight and health after pregnancy:
- Eat healthy, balanced meals, but still enjoy your favorite Filipino comfort foods.
- Drink lots of water, especially if you’re breastfeeding.
- Make sure you get enough rest. Your body heals best at night.
- Add simple movements or stretches after your doctor gives you the go signal.
On a side note, I’ve experienced this too. It was tough every time I heard “tumaba ka!” at family reunions. That’s when I realized the importance of setting boundaries. Sharing my story helped me build a stronger group of fellow moms. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, reach out to someone you trust or join a local support group. Remember, postpartum weight gain, body shaming after having a baby, and mother-in-law remarks about weight are all common. Let’s uplift one another!
Embracing your postpartum journey is key to building your resilience and long-term happiness. If you’re wondering how to deal with family members who comment on my postpartum weight, try to remember that your worth is not defined by anyone else’s opinion. Your strength as a mom is bigger than any number on the scale. If you have tips or stories to share, let’s keep the conversation going in the comments!
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