6 Essential Rules for Relationships That Go the Distance

Are you thinking about the best way to make love will last? The onset of the season, such as Valentine's Day can stir these questions, prompting a lot of people to think about their way of approaching relationships.

The Myth of Waiting: Why Effort Matters

Have you heard the phrase "You'll find love when you're not looking"? Although it may sound romantic, it's not usually how lasting relationships form. Pepper Schwartz, a well-known relationship expert, explains this as a comparison to the job market: not often does the perfect job opportunity fall in your hands without effort. In real life, lasting relationships typically begin when we go out and are willing to try new things and prepared for meaningful interactions.

Building Connection Through Shared Interests

Environments matter, particularly for those who want to meet someone who is compatible. Think about swapping singles mixers for activities or events, or even events that align with your ideals. Being immersed in the place in the places where your passions flourish increases the likelihood of meeting people who are awed by your perspective. According to Schwartz that online sites can expand your horizons. Sometimes, a change in your strategy can be all that is needed for the spark to go off.

Face-to-face interactions are the catalyst for its own. Bela Gandhi, founder of Smart Dating Academy, emphasizes being at the present moment "You can't spot a potential partner if you're glued to your phone." Eye contact signals openness. Sometimes the chemistry is just an eye away.

Partnership Over Surface Romance

It's easy to get carried by the excitement of new romance however Tina B. Tessina, psychotherapist and author says the key to relationship advice is to seek partnerships. Healthy, lasting relationships stem from respect for each other and shared problem-solving. Not just fireworks on a date night. Find a person who values your thoughts as equally as their own. These are the traits that endure storms.

"Don't look for anyone who sweeps you off your feet. This is a sign of that they are a control freak and you'll be unhappy with what happens next." -Tina B. Tessina Tina B. Tessina

The Self in Relationship Longevity

Before you embark on a new relationship self-reflection is crucial. Confidence and happiness foster attraction. If you're still doubting your feelings after the breakup, a time of solitude can help you clarify your values and help you avoid repeating the same patterns. As Nicole Baras Feuer points out that healing helps us prepare for authentic connections.

The attraction that is instant may be a blur but lasting love is slow burning. Take time to let feelings develop--authenticity outlasts infatuation. Beware of the "opposites attract" cliche: While intrigue may create interest, shared values can reduce conflicts later on according to the psychiatrist Dr. Gail Saltz.

Intentionality, Optimism, and Need Awareness

The search for love works best when it is approached by embracing the kind of attitude Gandhi describes as "psychotic optimism"--an constant conviction that the perfect relationship is waiting for you. The dating experience can be transformed from a stressful one to a fun one and don't be frightened to meet a variety of people (just be sure to keep it professional).

Understanding and expressing your emotional needs is essential. It doesn't matter if you are a fan of space, love or even communication, clarity facilitates collaboration. Tessina says you are able to "train each other" to respect these dynamics, as long as each partner is honest in their interactions.

Knowing the Boundaries: From Dating to Commitment

There's a huge differences between casual dating and a partnership. Before mixing financial resources or sharing a home take a look into the depths: everyone is their best self from the beginning on, but authenticity develops with time. The most successful relationships differentiate between fun for a short time and the burden of commitment.

Last but not least, let go of your attachment to partners who are not available. Schwartz suggests thinking of emotional insanity as a pit. The only healthy step is to climb out, allowing space for the true love waiting to be found.